More School Photos

Eric at the front door.
Some Classroom Views

The Disney ELL School on Maoming has made great progress over the summer!

Reception Desk
The Clubhouse

Emily, our new babysitter arrives from Beijing

And we take her on a sightseeing day. First to the top of the Jin Mao Tower.

We have a great view of the new World Financial Center, which is even taller and has just been completed.
Haibo, the expo mascot greets us at the entrance to the Pearl Tower. We take Emily to see the Shanghai History Museum in the basement.
Then we took her on a boat cruise on the Huangpu River.

Season Two Begins

Still attached to our western comforts, we did not travel lightly on our return trip to Shanghai this August. We had 17 bags including carry-on items.


Allison signed her own landing card.
Three jet-lagged kids on our second day back in Shanghai.

Lauren's first professional article is published

I spent some time this summer writing some articles for my job at Parkway. My first article came out this week. It's based on my professional background and my own experience. It was published in the Shanghai Expat Association magazine, The Shanghai Courier. Thank you to Lisa, Jill, and Dara for their help and support while I finished it during my trip east and to Eric for his editing.

How to Ensure a Positive Adjustment to Shanghai for Your Family

Dr. Lauren Muhlheim is an American Psychologist who recently relocated to Shanghai along with her family.

An international assignment can be a great bonding time for your family and can be very rewarding. Here are some strategies for acclimating smoothly and keeping your family intact while enjoying the adventure.

Communicate

The first thing to acknowledge is that there are aspects that are going to be stressful but that you have each other for support. Open communication will help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Talk to your kids and your spouse about their experience and allow them to express their feelings about what they’re going through. Understand that everyone adapts in their own way and some people adapt easier than others. Be prepared to tolerate a potentially negative reaction to the move by your child. If they do have a hard time it’s important to validate their feelings.

Keep in Touch

An overseas move takes you physically away from the people who supported you prior to the move. This is a definite loss. You can help mitigate this by maintaining your connection with your support network back home. Skype, email, and blogs are great ways to keep connected. Children also should be encouraged to stay in touch with their friends back home.

Maintain Routine

Maintaining routine in the new environment can help everyone keep their balance. An organized and predictable home environment helps children to feel secure and safe. Try to keep some aspects of your former family routine intact. Whether it’s reading at bedtime or family meals, try to continue to do these even though you may feel like you have too many boxes to unpack.

Similarly, if your child was playing soccer or taking karate lessons back home, continuing the same activities here in Shanghai can promote self-esteem and offer social opportunities. With a little effort you can find some version of most kids’ activities here through organizations that offer activities for expatriate kids (Active Kidz, Multisport, Sport for Life, and Dulwich Community Programs are just a few.)

Exercise

Exercise is not only a great way to maintain physical fitness and health, but has also been shown to ease symptoms of anxiety and depression, reduce stress, and improve sleep. Exploring your neighborhood on foot can help improve mood while also reducing isolation. Alternatively, ride a bike, take a yoga class, or go to the gym.

Schedule Date Nights with Your Spouse

Going on an international assignment can add lots of stress to a marriage. Your marriage is the foundation of your family. Date night is a great way to foster communication and intimacy with your spouse while exploring Shanghai’s bountiful dining options.

Establish a New Support Network

It is important to reach outside the family and develop a new social support network in Shanghai. A support network can help with completing daily tasks (giving advice on where to shop, etc.) and provide emotional support. Having friends reduces stress and isolation. The expatriate community of Shanghai is fortunately large and well-developed, and there are many opportunities to meet new and interesting people. Your kids’ school, the working spouse’s work colleagues, your housing area, exercise classes, and religious organizations are all great ways to meet people. In addition there are numerous organizations like The American Women’s Club, Brits Abroad, The Shanghai Expat Association, and the Community Center. These organizations all plan numerous activities including interesting tours and classes and less formal coffees and nights out.

It’s especially nice to get to meet people who arrived around the same time as you because there is a developmental cycle of expats (like an informal college campus) and people who arrived the same time as you will be more or less in the same phase of adjustment and also similarly eager to make new friends (whereas expats in their 3^rd year may be preparing to move on and be less interested in making new friends). On the other hand, you can gain very valuable information from more seasoned expats. They can tell you the ins and outs of life in Shanghai. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions.

It’s also nice to get to know some Chinese people; you’re in China after all! One way to meet Chinese people is to participate in activities outside the expat housing areas and expat organizations.

Keep a Positive Attitude

Draw the strength from the stable foundation you’ve built with your family to savor the good new experiences and weather the frustrations. Remember the reasons the assignment was appealing to you in the first place. Keep in mind that everyone has bad days (there are Shanghighs and Shanglows). On your bad days remind yourself what a great opportunity it is to be living in a foreign city and then make fun of your experience on your blog.

In China things can often take longer than they did in your home country. Sometimes basic tasks like going to the supermarket can become so much more complicated in a foreign environment. Take a deep breath and remind yourself it will get done eventually.

Remember that you’re a guest. When you’re a guest in someone’s house you need to be respectful and accept certain things the way they are (these 1.6 billion people have a 5000 year head start on you).

Take Advantage of What Shanghai and China Have to Offer

Now that you’re grounded and hooked in, take chances that step outside of your zone of comfort and familiarity. Learn about your new environment through classes, tours, etc. The community center and other organizations offer a huge array of classes ranging from Chinese painting to cooking and flower arranging. There are also numerous tours designed to increase your understanding of Chinese culture and how to find what you need in Shanghai (market tours, subway tours, museum tours, etc.) China has a fascinating history and Shanghai is a wonderful international city with great shopping.

Learning Mandarin can also be very beneficial and rewarding. It does really help your confidence when you have basic communication skills. The process of learning the language may be intellectually stimulating as well.

Engaging in pleasurable activities has been proven to boost mood. Even when the move makes your “to do” list very long, it’s important to schedule in some leisure activities. City Weekend has a listing of lots of different activities throughout Shanghai.

Working toward a goal can be personally satisfying and can boost self-confidence. If you’ve left behind a job or other responsibilities this can be a great time to try something new. You can learn a new skill, pursue a new career, or seek out volunteer opportunities. I know an accompanying spouse who recently got certified in both yoga and TCM while in Shanghai.

A recent article in the American Psychologist illustrated that international assignments have a lasting ability to increase the participants’ creativity. Congratulations on being one of the few who can take advantage of this opportunity. Look for pathways to unleash that creativity and to turn this period of uncertainty and challenge into personal growth. This is the opportunity of a lifetime!

Belated Post: First Season Finale - June 2008

Before we knew it, our first five months came to a close on June 27, 2008. It felt strange. We had in the freezing cold of winter arrived at this strange place to a strange house and begun new lives. Suddenly, 5 months later, it was hotter and more humid than we had ever felt, and we had to suddenly shut down the life we had so methodically built in Shanghai. In some ways it felt like we had been through a lot (and we had...). In other ways, it felt like the time had just flown. It was strange to be a part of an entire community that was going on freeze. Most of the expat activities just stopped and everybody said goodbye as they prepared for home leave (significant numbers were leaving for good).

While I was packing on the day prior to departure, Henry was out on his scooter and gashed the side of his foot. This resulted in my taking him to my employer (Parkway Health) for stitches (and delaying my packing by about 3 hours). Note that this was the second child who got stitches since we'd come to China!!

I have yet to get a good night sleep prior to moving cross-continent. This time I was up pretty much the whole night trying to get everything organized....

Eric was not flying home with us. When we arrived at the airport, Henry informed us he could not walk, so we got him a wheelchair. This ended up being the saving grace because we would not have made our connection in Hong Kong had he not (it was a very tight connection and we were late). I commended him on his great sacrifice for the family!


The kids were totally spoiled again in first class, but this at least allowed me a little bit of a break after the all-nighter.

It was the start of a wonderful summer in LA, visiting with friends and family and most of our favorite places. We were so happy to have time with so many of our friends, but totally regretted that we didn't have time to see everyone we would have liked to. It flew by way too fast.

More updates will be coming soon. We returned to Shanghai August 14th and the kids are already back in school.

Breather for Eric

Eric here in a rare guest post. I joined Lauren and the kids back in LA a week ago and have just blasted through my week of "vacation" home leave, about to enter my week of "working" home leave. I think I can comment for all of us that the most peculiar thing about being home is how non-peculiar it is -- we've been living one life in Shanghai for 5 months but when we pick up and drop ourselves back in our LA home it feels perfectly normal, like we've just been away for a couple of weeks. We're enjoying seeing friends and doing the things we do in LA (oh my beloved Amoeba Records! oh Barnes & Nobel! oh Sam's Bagels!). What I wonder is whether we've split our lives in two, and when we're back in China we'll pick back up in the same way (oh, Blue Frog! oh, fabric market!), or whether it will be harder? To find out in a couple of weeks...

Wanted to post a few pictures of how far we've come in a couple of short months in Shanghai on the first Disney English Center. We've gone from this (student clubhouse)...

...to this:

This (parent reception):

...to this:This (2nd floor classroom):

...to this:

And this (3rd floor classroom):

...to this:

I'm not totally happy with every aspect of what we've done -- cost too much, there are a lot of little details that could be hugely improved -- but it's amazing how much we've accomplished in a very short time. We opened for a trial run on sales this past weekend (sadly I wasn't there) and got our first three signups -- a good start!